This
month marks the 25th anniversary of Metropolitan Anthony's consecration as
bishop, and it seems only appropriate to publish again the text of his
acceptance, which was delivered during the Vigil Service the evening
before. The occasion brought together representatives of many different
Orthodox groups in Great Britain, but the participation of Bishop James of
Apameia is singled out as somehow representing the underlying unity of the
Orthodox Church in the diaspora.
The
English text was published in the Parish Herald of the Patriarchal Parish
in London in February 1958,
In
the name of the Father and the Son and Holy Ghost! Bishops, fathers and
brethren! I was deeply affected by the decision of the Holy Patriarch and
the Holy Synod to appoint me Bishop of Sergievo. But now the turmoil in my
mind is stilled and I stand before you having collected my thoughts and
probed my conscience before God, ready to convey to you truthfully all
that fills my mind. If I had followed the first promptings of my heart I
should have asked for mercy, since the whole of my being is powerfully
drawn towards prayerful silence and the anonymity of monastic service; and
fear and misery swept over me when, with the voice of the Church, Christ
bade me join the ranks of witnesses of Divine Love, for no calling is more
fearful and responsible (Jn. 20.21, Mt. 10.16). When fourteen years ago,
while still a doctor, I made my secret monastic profession, I was looking
forward to something heroic: prayer, fasting, vigils, hardships. Love did
not appear to me to be a difficult achievement, but simply a joy and the
very life of the soul. Since then I have learned that there is no more
implacable law than that of Christ's love, the compassionate, suffering
love of the Holy Trinity, the love of the merciful Saviour who gives His
life for the people who have withdrawn from Him, the love of the Good
Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep... It was easy and joyful
for me to pronounce the vows of renunciation. Nothing drew me except a
sincere and joyful love of Christ. It seemed to me that there was nothing
to renounce, for there was nothing that I desired, nothing that my soul
was searching for, except God. And I was surprised by the parting words of
my spiritual father that the monastic life is not ascetic deeds, but in
perfect love. Soon, however, the actual living and doing of my medical
work in a monastic way began to disclose to me the hetherto unknown wealth
of love: revealed to me the meaning of those words that were said to me
and drew me towards priesthood. 'You have left everything you did not
value', my conscience persistently told me, 'for the sake of the one thing
that you desired; you have renounced what you had not need of in order to
gain what you longed for. Like the Gospel youth you do not want to part
with your riches'. In misery and indecision I asked myself, 'What must I
do to attain eternal life?... Give away the last shreds: let your very
soul become the prey of anyone who hungers and thirsts, as the Prophet
Isaiah says' (Isaiah 58.10). Fathers and brethren, I became a priest as
culmination of my monastic vows, so that nothing in me should remain mine.
Almost ten years have passed since then and only now am I beginning to see
that I have not even entered upon Christ's path, and yet the Lord is
calling upon me to become a sacrifice (Phil. 2.17; 2 Tim 4.6), is laying
upon me the omophorion, symbol of the lost sheep which the Good
Shepherd must find and save at the cost of his own life, and the staff,
the pilgrim's staff of Christ's disciples (Heb. 11.13). The unthinkable is
happening... But I do not believe in chance. I am profoundly convinced
that the Lord Jesus Christ Himself governs His Church, and from my youth I
have made it a rule (as far as I have the strength and faith) to seek for
nothing and to refuse nothing, to ask from God neither cross nor
consolation; therefore I bow my head, and with trepidation but without
doubt I give thanks unwaveringly with an undivided heart and I accept the
Cross that is offered me and say nothing in contradiction. I shall say
nothing of my own unworthiness: I believe in the grace of God which heals
weakness and completes the deficiency of man's powers. And I know, too,
from experience, that 'the strength of God is made perfect (only) in
weakness' (2 Cor. 12.9); and so I pray the Almighty not for strength, but
for the blessed weakness which is born in a humble, contrite and merciful
heart; I pray God for love and humility as the only firm foundation for
eternal life, as the only content of the Christian life, as the source of
Knowledge, Wisdom and Discernment. 'I know that I am not worthy of heaven
and earth and of this temporal life', but I believe and I know without a
doubt that because of God's boundless love for the world, to me too will
be given the power of the collective grace of the Church, and that for me
too, by the gift of God, 'all things will be possible' that the Lord may
command (Mk. 9.23). I have no words in which to speak of that tremulous
feeling which fills my heart to overflowing at the thought that the
conclave of Russian Bishops has resolved that I should enter the Apostolic
circles; that it has faith in the sincerity of my love towards God, the
Church and our orphaned world; that it has entrusted me with the Cross to
be 'as it were appointed to death' (1 Cor. 4.9); that it has not doubted
that I too would joyfully show my willingness to follow the example of
Christ the Chief Shepherd and with Him 'give my life for the sheep'. But I
beg of you, Bishops of the Russian Church, to pray the Lord God for me
that He may give me the weakness that is receptive of God, His love and
the 'mind of Christ' (Phil. 2.5; 1 Cor. 2.16), His humility and
faithfulness to the end in perfect obedience to Him alone. I believe that
through the prayers of the Holy Patriarch and my Mother Church the Lord
will not desert me, but will allow me to serve Him dying unto myself and
will make me 'decrease' from day to day in order that 'He may increase',
subduing unto Himself all the powers of my nature until they are wholly
His (Phil. 3.21). My heart is filled with a profound joy and gratitude to
His Grace James, Bishop of Apameia, who, as the representative of the
Ecumenical Patriarch, is today taking part in my nomination and tomorrow
in my consecration. May the blessing of the great Church of
Constantinople, the mother of all our young Slav churches, come upon me by
the laying on of his hands, and may his participation be a living witness
to the indestructible unity of the Orthodox in Faith, Sacraments and Love.
Fathers and brethren! It is seldom that God grants a bishop to be
consecrated, as in my case, amid his own flock. May it be allowed me to
address my spiritual children too in this hour which is important for them
as well as for me. During the years of my pastoral service among you God
has granted us to become a close and loving family. Episcopal grace is the
pledge of an even deeper more sincere unity, for this grace is primarily
one of pastorship and spiritual fatherhood. Let us give thanks to the
Lord! And let us love one another even more truly and vitally and
effectually. Let us become one with Christ in and through love, and with
His love which nothing could break let us come to love that world for
which He gave His life. Let us love every man as He loves him and us
(Phil. 1.8). Let us enter life as Christ's disciples with new hope and
renewed strength. Let us bring to the cold, orphaned world our flaming,
invincible joy, so that every soul may rejoice, all fear may be dispelled,
hatred extinguished, that Christ's light may illumine even those who
wander in darkness, that with one heart and with one mind we may all, all
without exception, raise the triumphal song to God. Those are the thoughts
and feelings with which I stand before your holiness today; I remember the
Lord's warning that 'by thy words shalt thou be justified and by thy words
shalt thou be condemned' (Mat. 12.37), but I believe that through your
prayers, your love and your support the Lord will fulfil in me too the
good that He has inspired (Phil. 2.13), will forgive me my ignorance and
that which is lacking in my words, will unite all of us and be our only
Shepherd and Head of the Church. Amen. Sourozh 1982. N. 10. P. 1-4 |